Pre-asexuality views on sex?

[disjointed]

I knew from the age of 13 and having a go...i could not understand what the fuss was about sex...it was just...is that it?

then as my old fart status continued to approach.. I got married had a child and was married from 21 to 35..my ex wife..who is now one of my best friends..knew I thought sex was a prelude to raiding the fridge so never really troubled me but we did seem to reach a midway point that worked for us both

i do not remember ever knowing about asexuality until I was about 44/45 when after another relationship failed i typed in..men who do not like sex..then kaboommm..after that everything made sense...the end

[hanya2]

As davidson mentions at a certain site, It's certainly possible to lose desire for sex in a long-term relationship, but losing desire is not the same as being asexual. somtimes the reason may be medical or hormonal...I myself don't understand, I'm still young at the age of 22...Haven't married yet, although had experience with my prev boyfriends, i began to lose interest on sex which i really do not understand.

[AkiraLS]

Hmm I would say I was indifferent I knew of it but cared little about it, it was just something that was there, but I found I was Asexual around 14 so I guess I never really got to the age where it became a big issue, I more so went from a kids 'la la la' to a 'NA NA NA NA' can't touch this, so I don't really think I had much of a view on it, it was just something else out there I doubted I would experience for many years to come, and now something I hope will never come.

[Charis]

I guess the term straight worked at the time. Though I didn't really have the guts to make a move to turn a crush into a relationship. Mind you I also was so alone in middle school I would get imprinting crushes on guys who were nice to me. I just focus on making friends now.

Now the term straight doesn't make much sense despite the fact that I believe I'm attracted to men, I feel that I have yet to really be attracted to anyone. Unfortunately what you think and how you're programed don't often collide. So even if I'm okay with the idea of being with a woman, my biological programming might decide that only men will do it for me.

*Sigh* The more I think the more confused I get. It's even harder to sort out when you're not engaging in any sexual or romantic relations because there's nobody you're interested in around you.

Ah the lovely gray holes of sexuality that open up in sneak attacks and swallow you when you aren't looking.

[Mage]

I was super confused before realizing my orientation. I felt like I had to prove to myself that I was a sexual person, in part because I thought sex jokes were hilarious. I identified as bisexual from puberty until I was 20, and then I identified as a lesbian because I understood that I almost never had romantic feelings for cis-men. Even though I had sex with multiple partners I was totally confused about why I just didn't feel sexual about the people I had aesthetic or other kinds of attractions for.

Come to think of it, I thought aesthetic attraction WAS sexual attraction. I'm hyperaesthetical, if I can make that a word. There are loads of people of all genders who I crave to be around because they are beautiful to look at. Maybe there already is a real word for me: shallow

I had heard of asexuality when I was 17 and I spent a lot of time thinking about it and just trying to find ways to dismiss it, but ultimately identifying with this orientation has helped me to more fully understand the kinds of attractions I have.

[GoAllyGoGo]

I knew I had no interest, but I had always assumed one day it would pop up. However, asexuality wasn't a possibility I knew of then (which I think it was a good thing I didn't know about it) so I thought maybe I just had superior skills in holding back on sexual urges even though I had none. It made me very judging of others. I always thought "Well, if I don't need sex and if I can abstain, why can't you?" I didn't often express that, but it's how I felt. And then I found out about asexuality and it made sense and I've since become a much more accepting person when it comes to sex. I don't understand it, so I shouldn't judge now.

[KAGU143]

I don't think I ever seriously considered sex until I was approaching puberty and we had "the film" at school. In an abstract fashion, I knew what it was and what it was for prior to that, but I hadn't really considered it in relation to myself. Our family was casually Christian, insofar as we went to church occasionally, but it wasn't an every week kind of thing. I knew the basics, and I figured that sex was something that married people had to do when they wanted to have children. Full stop. I couldn't imagine doing it for any other reason. (Also, I thought you only had to do it once for each child ... sort of true, technically, but pretty laughable now that I think about it.)
Later, I learned that boys (teens, since those were my peers) really wanted to have sex a LOT because they had a drive to do it. I could accept that since I had seen it in animals, but it made me vaguely uneasy, especially since I preferred the company of men to women. I didn't know what to do or who to hang out with, so I spent a lot of time in the woods. (We lived across the street from a huge undeveloped area of forest which was later made into a state park.) It was a few years later before I fully grasped the idea that girls were supposed to have that same sex drive, and it was only then that I realized how very different I really was from all of my friends. I first adopted the word "asexual" at that time, at around age 17.

[fridayoak]

A lot of my (male) friends were talking about having sex when I was 12 or 13, and I just found it bizarre that they were so interested. A few would talk about it non-stop and arrange it for others, it was weird.
I guess I thought about sex out of intellectual intrigue back then quite a bit but by the time I got to 14/15 it just left my head completley.

Then when I met other smart people at college I figured there would probably be some other people like me who weren't interested in sex cos I still thought of myself as straight but just "not interested in sex" or whatever. But even though I met some people who didn't bang on about sex, it was clear when pushed that they were sexual people and they didn't understand my viewpoint (which I guess at the time I considered philosphical rather than an orientation cos I didn't know much about asexuality). So maybe I was a bit lost and stranded in a sexual world and the best was to deal with it was to tell myself I was superior in some way but I don't know if I really believed that cos sometimes it would just depress me. I ended up having sex to try and see if there was any hope of me "becoming sexual" but I don't think I believed I would, and after having sex it just made me even more resolute but without some of the fears/issues associated with actually having sex.

So yeah it definitely helps knowing that there's other asexual people, it takes the weight off and maybe a lot of the bitterness/confusion goes away.