What to tell your 16 year old self

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PiF
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What to tell your 16 year old self

Postby PiF » Fri Oct 18, 2013 4:39 am

I've been thinking for a while about my past and how life has unfolded both in lifes journeys and those in it...so I thought...if you could write a letter to your 16 year old self what would you say?

be as real/inpersonal/personal as you wish if you want to have a go
Last edited by PiF on Tue Sep 22, 2015 4:26 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Ciri
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Re: This will work more here than in Aven 8-)

Postby Ciri » Fri Oct 18, 2013 10:42 am

^ Where's yours then? Were you ever 16? =p I'll write one for you.

Dear Mini PiF,
That hairstyle is so last season, you should go with the other style next time. Maybe some electric blue highlights. That girl you want to get off with? Don't, she has herpes. Travelling is cool, go ahead and do it, don't worry about the consequences. When Ciri invites you somewhere, you turn up. On the 9th November 1982, you will asexualize and Fuzzlebutt will spawn from you, leave him under the gooseberry bush in Gibbit Hill Road, Coventry. Buy shittonnes of cacti. Don't join aven, you may really really want to but trust me it's not for you. That brony phrase will eventually end, make the most of it.

This is a picture of you in the future:
Image

Use it well.

Love and lots of kisses,
Big PiF

(Yeah I'll do mine at work when I'm pretending to be working.
You're all dead and I'm your eternal punishment.

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KAGU143
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Re: This will work more here than in Aven 8-)

Postby KAGU143 » Fri Oct 18, 2013 6:18 pm

I approve of that message. :D
If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all.

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Re: This will work more here than in Aven 8-)

Postby Ciri » Fri Oct 18, 2013 7:25 pm

K, guaranteed angst fest.

Dear 16 year old Ciri,
Hey! You've just turned 16, I'm guessing nobody remembered to say this to you so HAPPY BIRTHDAY, GIRL. You're going to have a difficult year, very difficult. But that's ok, you get through to the other side somehow. In August, you'll get your exam results - this is quite a feat because half of your time will be spent organising the rest of the school prefects, being chair of the school council and head librarian. Keep going as you are in the librarian job, in May your friendship will be tested with L, that's fine just do it. He's a good friend. Keep pushing for softer toilet roll with the counsil, you actually win that one eventually.

In school, there were people who wanted to throw you off. You beat them too. When that group of girls surrounds you, the correct move would be to punch with your left hand and aim a little bit more to the right - don't shatter two of your knuckles like I did. M doesn't mean you any harm, he was giving you terrible grades to try and push you to do better. You'll be glad you took half your exams a year early come June time. That day you get your results, three of the girls from the previous incident will try and put your down about your grades, it doesn't work since you scored higher than them. Well done!

Don't listen to your father, do the subjects you want to do at college. If you do French, no matter how hard you try you will fail it. That isn't your fault, you have undiagnosed dyslexia (you get diagnosed at Uni) you never stood a chance in the first place with that teaching style. Stick with your favourites: Biology, Physics, History...make an attempt at Art (the paper work will be awful but there's no harm in trying). Law isn't your thing, no matter how hard he pushes you into it, you don't have the memory to succeed there. By the way, don't choose that college with the gifted and talented academy, you would have been isolated, choose the college 30 miles away - you didn't get the grades but they will take into account that you took your GCSEs with Pneumonia and accept you. You'll have the best days of your life there.

On a darker note, that situation when you were 12. A's death wasn't your fault. You will spend a long time beating yourself up about this. You need to face up to it. Read this: You were sat next to A in your Year 7 Art class. You never helped her against them but what matters is what you did last. She took her own life and the school did nothing even though you warned them. This will haunt you for a long time, you wont forget her but you'll come to realise the facts of what happened. Try and remember this for next time too. Don't hold the weight of the world on your shoulders, most of that is someone elses burden to bear.

College will be worse than school for you. This is when your perfectionism will become more distressing. The more afraid you are of failing, the more likely you are to fail. You look fine, don't get into a bad cycle. Every bad thing that happens, you will learn from. In second year, do not allow the head to convince you that you are paranoid - what makes you paranoid is the fact you know all your teachers are watching your every move and that's just creepy. 1 Loratadine a day will sort that issue, your doctor wont tell you for 18 months that your symptoms are allergy related, don't bother with Citirizine it doesn't work and Benadryl will put you to sleep. Don't argue with your mother while you're driving, you will have a fit and could cause a major accident. DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES EAT THAT PASTA BEFORE YOUR EXAM, you end up with food poisoning. Have you been taking your pills? Didn't think so. You should do that...I know I'm being a hypocrite there but it's important. That first lot wont work, go to the doctors even if you are skeptical ask for something else. You need somethjng to balance you out.

J isn't all he seems to be. Don't trust him. Don't talk to him. Don't go near him.

London is a scary place but give it a chance, it's ok when you get used to it.

People wont listen to you even when you find your voice, you shy little thing. Don't give up, make a stand.

Love Big Ciri,
I doubt I have covered everything but this is pretty close.

PS. There is such a thing as too many Twinkies. Slim down, fattie. (Don't worry, you lose 3 stone.)
You're all dead and I'm your eternal punishment.

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Re: This will work more here than in Aven 8-)

Postby PiF » Sat Oct 19, 2013 2:03 am

you crazy ciri you :lol:

I'll write mine next week....did I see you might be going to london fireworks aven meety thingy?

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Re: This will work more here than in Aven 8-)

Postby Ciri » Sat Oct 19, 2013 6:52 pm

Yesh, yes me and Mic are. You should come along, it wont be how you think it will be.
You're all dead and I'm your eternal punishment.

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Re: This will work more here than in Aven 8-)

Postby Blinky » Sun Oct 20, 2013 4:31 pm

OK here's my letter to myself.

Dear, 16 year old Blinky,
Your life will never turn out how you want so you may as well do whatever your heart really desires now. Kill everyone you dislike and shoot up the high school. You'll probably get caught but because you're a minor there's a chance they'll go easier on you. Be sure to plead insanity. Mental hospitals aren't that bad, you don't have to really do anything and you get plenty of good food. When you're able to, use okcupid to find the kind of guy (or girl) you want to be with. There are a surprising number of men (and women) who want a dominatrix and will not force you into having sex, and yes, there are even many that you would find attractive. The key things you need to look for in a mate are: good looks, patience, forgiveness, and intelligence. If they don't have all of those for you don't even bother wasting your time thinking about them. Don't worry so much about thinking that you're ugly because your physical flaws are negligible, people are just too harsh on you and you're too harsh on yourself. You're really an awesome person at this point in your life even if you don' realize it. Ok maybe you do realize it but you keep thinking that you're going to be better in the future. Sorry to tell you this but that ain't happening. The future that I come from is bleak and meaningless and full of tragedy. You'll find happiness in life knowing that you're doing what you really want to do in the moment, not waiting for dreams of grandeur.

From Future Blinky, age 26.

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KAGU143
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Re: This will work more here than in Aven 8-)

Postby KAGU143 » Sun Oct 20, 2013 8:27 pm

Dear 16 year old Nancy,

Hey! Listen up! Yes, you! This is yourself from the future calling to give you some advice.
1) Enjoy being 16. Seriously! It seems like a living hell right now but you're going to look back on it and smile. Things are going to get a lot worse before they get better, believe me. Treasure the friends that you have right now and try to forget the ones you left behind in California. They're gone; they've moved on - don't try to resurrect dead relationships.
2) Don't get rid of your albums or any of your posters. Especially the posters! Cherish those fragile things and roll them up very carefully when you're done displaying them. They will be worth a fortune later on - even the free ones that were only advertising local bands like Jefferson Airplane and the Doors playing at the Fillmore.
3) You think you're weird? You're right. Don't fight it. In another year or so you'll realize that you're asexual, even though there's no definite term for it yet. You aren't the only one in the world but there won't be a way to find any others until almost the 21st century. It's true that you're not going to have any happy CLOSE relationships with men until you are very old, but you'll enjoy a number of good friendships. Learn from them, and learn what men really are and what they really want - not what the feminist movement wants you to believe. It will serve you well in the future.
4) Don't be afraid to seek and hang out with gay people, especially the guys. They are the closest thing you're going to find to a peer group for quite a few years. Just don't expect any of them to become deeply attached to you because it doesn't work that way. Learn to politely get out of the way when your gay friends want to enjoy being gay.
5) Above all, save yourself many years of sorrow by learning to keep your crushes to yourself! Don't start relationships that you aren't prepared to finish. Kill that cuddly urge! Kill it with fire! It sends a message that you don't mean to send. There will be a time and a place to become more open emotionally, but it won't happen for a long time.
6) Don't sell your van to Joe's brother. Just don't. Don't buy a Chevy Nova, and always lock your bike to something solid - don't just chain up the wheels. Losing it will haunt you for life.
7) Don't give Benny Bird to the Audubon society. She will die a horrible death if you do. Take your chances with the game department and let her live out her final years in peace.

There's more, but this dimensional time warp is unstable ... 'gotta go because my feet are starting to become transparent around the edges and that means I've only got a mo
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PiF
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Re: This will work more here than in Aven 8-)

Postby PiF » Mon Oct 21, 2013 4:28 am

I have no pre plan so what follows will be as it happens...the story of your life young padawan

Don't stress so much about who and what you are, you'll be surprised how it evolves over time and sometimes not in the way you think.

Listen to your elders and take in the good advice and even though you might not like some of it..weigh it up before discounting it.

Much of your older life is decided when you are young...think long term but never beat yourself up about it when life changes its path.

Most jobs will be shit...but the colour of money doesn matter when bills, social life, holidays need paying for

you will be asked to do things you do not want to do and morally willl object too...chose your battles wisely

you will have a holiday romance...let it stay in that holiday memory...it rarely works long term

Be confident when all around you seek to put you down..a dry smile of positive you will always beet the negative them..karma exists be good to others

accept much of life is one step forward and possibly two steps back....just make that one step a giant one

and lastly....you are born on a preset date..you will die on a preset date ..your lifes start and end is very much determined...what has yet to be determined is how you live it...... you have more control over that than you will ever know


O and when you strap that full size rubber dolly to your back and tour Europe, take a puncture repair kit...it will come in handy

Double o....if you see some geek offereing shares in his company for little cash for thier start up and their names are...gates, zuckerberg, brin or page..give them the money

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Re: This will work more here than in Aven 8-)

Postby TheGuvnorsMoll » Thu Aug 20, 2015 11:36 am

Dear name I answered to then,

Ditch that stupid teenage crush you have then you will avoid the trouble it will cause next year.
Do what YOU want, not what your parents want for you. It's your life, girl.
When that unforgivable thing happens in March 1983, play it differently.
Ignore protests of 'You can't do that'. They only want to control you. Tell them to sod off and just do your thing.

Ghrá go deo,
Agnetha.
'The best Government is that which governs least, if at all' - Henry David Thoreau.

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Re: This will work more here than in Aven 8-)

Postby KAW143 » Mon Sep 07, 2015 5:00 pm

Dear 16-year-old me,

You actually have it more together than you think. As you have long suspected, adults are just making it up as they go along, as well; it's just that they have more practice with it and make it look easy.

There are some bad things ahead for you, but if I were to warn you sufficiently to avoid them, I will never exist.

Trust yourself, and have as much fun as you can without being unsafe. You know what I mean.

--me

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Re: This will work more here than in Aven 8-)

Postby Vivaldi Ives » Mon Sep 07, 2015 7:05 pm

Dear 16-year-old Viv:

No matter how hard life feels right now, you're going to make it through okay. You are very frustrated by yourself and by life right now, but things are going to get so much better. Bad memories won't completely go away...and let's face it, there will be a lot more bad things that happen over the next 10 years and probably for the rest of your life, but there will be plenty of times where you will be calm, comfortable, and happy. You are going to meet so many awesome people in college: classmates, professors, and work supervisors. You are going to absolutely rock academically. Did you know you're going to have a master's degree by age 24? A job that pays better than you could have expected (even though it's a crap job sometimes) later that year? And you're going to get your very own cat at age 25.

Don't worry about relationships; there's this thing called asexuality that you haven't learned about yet, but it's going to make so much sense when you do. Be proud of who you are. Being a total virgin is fine. People will try to talk you into stuff, but don't worry, you'll stand firm and turn them down. Don't worry about finding "the one" anytime soon--you've got a heart big enough to love everyone you meet. Don't freak out so much about religion--you don't have to have all your beliefs figured out when you're young, and God loves you no matter what. You have some inherited mental health issues, which again, you don't really know about yet, but you'll be able to start working them out soon. For now, take more time to just be. Take deep breaths. Have fun. Smile. Keep playing music whenever you feel like it, including stuff that's just for fun and not for lessons/orchestra. Keep reading books every chance you get. Read more fun books and fewer self-help books. Spend as much quality time with your family as you can, but also be sure to take a break from them when you need it.

Try to talk your mom and dad into letting you get a job...see if the public library will hire you. Or even the grocery store. Because the Viv who's talking to you now didn't get a real job (at the grocery store) til she turned 18, and didn't start working at the library (one of the best jobs ever) til age 22. Maybe you can save up enough money to buy a car--it will give you more freedom. I know, feeling stuck and reliant on other people for transportation absolutely sucks and unfortunately I didn't get a car til age 24.

In college, there will be certain people you'd be better off not befriending. They may be perfectly nice people at the time, but hindsight is 20/20. And some of the people you don't get particularly attached to--they'll be really great friends down the road. Don't judge people so much--some of your best friends at work later on will be drinkers and smokers. And (gasp!) you'll drink here and there after you turn 21, Viv, but you're not going to do anything especially stupid. Don't stress out about drinking so much when it finally happens.

You can't see very far into the future now, Viv, but life won't end after high school. Life won't end after college or even grad school. You're going to have a great life overall, Viv, even if you can't see it clearly now.

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Re: This will work more here than in Aven 8-)

Postby Skycaptain » Tue Sep 08, 2015 2:09 pm

TW this pulls no punches

I cannot write a letter to my sixteen year old self, because that person doesn't exist, it is dead. I have certain issues in physical and psychological development which leave medical science flummoxed. Without wishing to enter into self aggrandisement my basic intellect is abnormally high. Sadly it has been wasted. At the age of 14 I knew that something was wrong. However, courtesy of an undiagnosed personality disorder, I could not face the truth, and did what I have always done, namely hid behind a pack of lies. I went so far as to create an artificial character in my mind, who was hetero-normative but had just never met the right partner, and lived that life, conning everyone, because it was easier to lie than to be honest. I tried to form relationships, but ultimately, I knew it was all a lie. Women did nothing for me, men repulsed me. This, I have never admitted to anyone, so please respect my confidence, I have never even said this over there, but I tried out being trans, wearing artificial breasts, but even there I felt miscast. David, who I was born as no longer exists. Barney, my first alter ego is dead. Dena, the "female" me has dissolved. Now I am Sky, at least my fourth person, but the final one???>
Asexual, agendered, aromantic suits me at the moment, but my entire life has been such a web of lies, conceits and half-truths I really have lost any sense of where the resal me lies

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Spotastic
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Re: This will work more here than in Aven 8-)

Postby Spotastic » Tue Sep 08, 2015 2:26 pm

Similarly to how Kæth answered, there are very few things that I would tell my 16 year-old self for fear of writing myself out of existence. However, if there were two things that in general I wish I had known back then, it's that Asperger's explains a lot of my peculiarities and problems with dealing with everyone else in the world, and that I need to forgive myself for killing the guy who tried to mug me. I am not a bad person for defending myself.

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TheGuvnorsMoll
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Re: This will work more here than in Aven 8-)

Postby TheGuvnorsMoll » Wed Sep 09, 2015 7:21 am

You certainly aren't, Spotastic. In fact, murder in self defence should be LEGAL.

Currently having a day in bed.
'The best Government is that which governs least, if at all' - Henry David Thoreau.

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littleheartsofjoy
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Re: This will work more here than in Aven 8-)

Postby littleheartsofjoy » Sun Sep 13, 2015 6:56 pm

Dear 16 year old littlehearts:

You are not weird for what you like. It's okay to like what you like. You will eventually make friends with some people who like the same music that you do, and you'll be able to go to concerts and scream your lungs out. You took too much time putting yourself down because of ideas you had in your head from bad influences. As for your friends, you can stick to them, but cut out that controlling friend of yours. She is no good for you. Don't feel bad for not wanting to do things that other people suggest that you should do.

As for relationships, you're overthinking it. Regardless of how people seem to be very into sex, it's okay not to be. There is this concept called asexuality, which is why you never had an issue remaining abstinent or at least, that was what you thought you was doing. For the future, stay away from guys who are okay with you in private but never in public. Don't just consider a relationship because a guy says that you're beautiful and you haven't heard those words before. Not worth your time.
Please call me littlehearts.

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Re: This will work more here than in Aven 8-)

Postby Nevyn » Sun Sep 20, 2015 8:16 am

Dear 16 year old Nevyn:

Learn to forgive yourself, you're the only one who really can. Don't let others make you second guess yourself. You know yourself better than you think. Everything works out one way or the other, but learn to let go and let things happen. Pride, vanity and hubris will always be our downfall, be vigilant against them.