Great Uncle Manfred's Magic Academy

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TheGuvnorsMoll
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Great Uncle Manfred's Magic Academy

Postby TheGuvnorsMoll » Sat Aug 29, 2015 11:30 am

The Magic Academy and exotic animal breeding farm has relocated to a far worthier place - here.

Skycaptain can fill you in on much of the details.

This is the Academy where I learned my magical skills and you, too, can learn magic. Or teach it. Or both if you feel you will benefit from it.

Guest speakers come, there are field trips to interesting places such as the Enchanted Playground and lessons in Time Travel, magic pod piloting (brooms were declared old fashioned in 1966) and similar are given.

It's fun but only if you are serious about magic.
'The best Government is that which governs least, if at all' - Henry David Thoreau.

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Re: Great Uncle Manfred's Magic Academy

Postby PiF » Sat Aug 29, 2015 11:36 am

I want to be a mod..can you show me how to magic away complaints... :D

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KAGU143
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Re: Great Uncle Manfred's Magic Academy

Postby KAGU143 » Sat Aug 29, 2015 12:01 pm

Hey PiF, I could maybe sell you an old banhammer that I have stashed away in the closet; it's only been used on disposable email addresses.
I'm sure it still has a lot of good solid whacks left in it.
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Re: Great Uncle Manfred's Magic Academy

Postby PiF » Sat Aug 29, 2015 12:10 pm

Sounds good to me.. :lol:

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TheGuvnorsMoll
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Re: Great Uncle Manfred's Magic Academy

Postby TheGuvnorsMoll » Sat Aug 29, 2015 12:13 pm

Unfortunately, bloody mods are a different brand of magic. They are so evil that not even the Lake Of Perfection can cleanse them.

Professor Brinalka Excelsiori, known to myself and Doctor Ledin as Auntie Brin (she was our babysitter), is over from America and is our first guest speaker. Do feel free to take notes. There will be a question and answer section at the end. She is lecturing on the work our sister academy over there (Brinalka Excelsiori College) is doing to raise the profile of magic in America.
'The best Government is that which governs least, if at all' - Henry David Thoreau.

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Re: Great Uncle Manfred's Magic Academy

Postby PiF » Sat Aug 29, 2015 12:19 pm

The senate can make trillions dissapear, they can already do magic

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TheGuvnorsMoll
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Re: Great Uncle Manfred's Magic Academy

Postby TheGuvnorsMoll » Sat Aug 29, 2015 12:28 pm

Very true, Pif. Magic is universal it seems!
'The best Government is that which governs least, if at all' - Henry David Thoreau.

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KAGU143
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Re: Great Uncle Manfred's Magic Academy

Postby KAGU143 » Sat Aug 29, 2015 1:08 pm

Anxiously awaits the lecture.
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Re: Great Uncle Manfred's Magic Academy

Postby Skycaptain » Sat Aug 29, 2015 2:24 pm

Hi, all. I'm bringing the menagerie from the animal farm over. They have been well fed during your quest for new premises

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TheGuvnorsMoll
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Re: Great Uncle Manfred's Magic Academy

Postby TheGuvnorsMoll » Sat Aug 29, 2015 3:02 pm

Thank you, Captain. And now here is Professor Brinalka Excelsiori from Brinalka Excelsiori College, Salem, Massachusetts.

(Auntie Brin steps forward and takes the podium).

Good evening, students. Many of you are aware of this fine Academy which originated in Ireland by the great Professor Manfred Periwinkle and his fine son Doctor Wilberforce Periwinkle. However, Professor Periwinkle believes that magic should be accessible to all and to this end has financed my college and also the main headquarters The Brinalka Excelsiori Institute for Magical Studies. I have been a practitioner of magic from a very early age and had the pleasure of meeting both Professor Periwinkle and Doctor Petronius Magnificat, the greatest wizard ever known.
I am reliably informed by Principal Maestra (or GuvnorsMoll as she is here) that you are seriously dedicated to magic and are willing and eager to learn.
Magic is, of course, better when learned young as one retains more information at an early age and grows up with it. But magic can be learned at any age and this is what the Academies both here and in America are striving to achieve.
You're all no doubt familiar with the Salem witch trials back in less civilized times. As a practitioner of the magical arts (as we prefer to be known due to the prejudice against the term 'witch'), I was regarded with suspicion by my neighbors. However, I escaped the persecution as the Light of the Magnificat shone around me, protecting me. This is how I first knew I was destined for magical greatness. The Light only glows above the heads of the genuine chosen magic makers.
At present only magic and the magical sciences such as time travel and astral projection are taught. But having seen the success of Professor Periwinkle's exotic animal park and legendary fruit and veg combination factory which begat such awesome stuff as the jagupard (jaguar/leopard cross), the roachion (cockroach/scorpion cross) and the potatogranate (potato/pomegranate cross) we are eager to expand.
Sadly, my commitments in America prevent me from taking up a seat on the Board. But I liaise regularly with them.
Final word of advice before I answer questions - if Doctor Ledin offers to push you on the Power Swings, politely refuse. The man is dangerous (and I should know, I was his babysitter!)
I look forward to interacting with you.


Thank you, Auntie Brin. A very concise, well delivered lecture.
Last edited by TheGuvnorsMoll on Sun Sep 06, 2015 9:24 am, edited 1 time in total.
'The best Government is that which governs least, if at all' - Henry David Thoreau.

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Re: Great Uncle Manfred's Magic Academy

Postby PiF » Sun Aug 30, 2015 3:05 am

I know doctor periwinkle..well his half cousin small winkle, his distant cousin bent winkle and his sexually repulsed chinese half sister menolikeee winkle

I'm looking forward to the magic lectures

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Re: Great Uncle Manfred's Magic Academy

Postby Skycaptain » Tue Sep 01, 2015 12:08 pm

Here is a full list of animals and insects that I have looked after and am now transferring to our new premises

Noluki wasps
Roachions
Mbangi wasps
Stuffalumps
Tarunna
Wyvern
Ergitan bird
Ruszla birds
Wizenhof bees
Parello
Dragons
Tarunna
Kangabuffulant

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TheGuvnorsMoll
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Re: Great Uncle Manfred's Magic Academy

Postby TheGuvnorsMoll » Tue Sep 01, 2015 12:31 pm

Thank you, Captain! Uncle Manfred has brought over the rest.

The remark Auntie Brin made about Tomas and the Power Swings is so true. The sod pushes you so high and so fast that you practically fall off!
'The best Government is that which governs least, if at all' - Henry David Thoreau.

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TheGuvnorsMoll
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Re: Great Uncle Manfred's Magic Academy

Postby TheGuvnorsMoll » Tue Sep 01, 2015 12:33 pm

I hope the Wyverns aren't going to be trouble though. Remember what happened last time?
'The best Government is that which governs least, if at all' - Henry David Thoreau.

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Tanwen
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Re: Great Uncle Manfred's Magic Academy

Postby Tanwen » Wed Sep 02, 2015 10:31 am

So relieved that dragons are included - we get a bad press in the main
You lose nothing when fighting for a cause ... In my mind the losers are those who don't have a cause they care about. - Muhammad Ali

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TheGuvnorsMoll
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Re: Great Uncle Manfred's Magic Academy

Postby TheGuvnorsMoll » Wed Sep 02, 2015 10:45 am

Dragons are groovy when handled properly.

I successfully got me an avatar!
'The best Government is that which governs least, if at all' - Henry David Thoreau.

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Re: Great Uncle Manfred's Magic Academy

Postby KAGU143 » Wed Sep 02, 2015 11:41 am

I have been the official liaison between the phoenix and the unwashed masses general public since the late 60s.
I can inquire as to whether it would like to be included, perhaps as an itinerant educator? It's normally too flighty to settle in one place for more than a few weeks.
Granted, it can be attracted by burning incense made from a variety of fragrant wood products, but the same fragrances that attract it also cause it to become melancholy and self-destructive.

The last time that happened .... hoooo boy!! What a mess ...
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Tanwen
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Re: Great Uncle Manfred's Magic Academy

Postby Tanwen » Wed Sep 02, 2015 11:53 am

I was in the cleaning up 'party' - dong Community Service for a very minor misdemeanor and I was framed...framed I tell you!!!
You lose nothing when fighting for a cause ... In my mind the losers are those who don't have a cause they care about. - Muhammad Ali

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TheGuvnorsMoll
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Re: Great Uncle Manfred's Magic Academy

Postby TheGuvnorsMoll » Wed Sep 02, 2015 12:01 pm

KAGU143 wrote:I have been the official liaison between the phoenix and the unwashed masses general public since the late 60s.
I can inquire as to whether it would like to be included, perhaps as an itinerant educator? It's normally too flighty to settle in one place for more than a few weeks.
Granted, it can be attracted by burning incense made from a variety of fragrant wood products, but the same fragrances that attract it also cause it to become melancholy and self-destructive.

The last time that happened .... hoooo boy!! What a mess ...


And that, my dear Nancy, is the very reason the phoenix, beautiful as she is, has never been included at the farm. Uncle Manfred knows their problems only too well.

We do have Ruszla birds however. They are flightless and resemble peacocks. They can be little sods though.
'The best Government is that which governs least, if at all' - Henry David Thoreau.

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KAGU143
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Re: Great Uncle Manfred's Magic Academy

Postby KAGU143 » Wed Sep 02, 2015 12:04 pm

Tanwen, I surely hope it wasn't you who accidentally sneezed fire on that pile of clove blossoms, sandalwood and cinnamon bark that we had in the back room? I don't remember why we were saving it, but, in retrospect, it probably wasn't a very good idea.

Guvnor, it isn't common knowledge, but Phoenix tends to resist gender-specific pronouns since it has always been a singular creature, perfectly complete within itself. It took me a while to understand this myself, since I was under the impression that it was male. My bad!
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Tanwen
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Re: Great Uncle Manfred's Magic Academy

Postby Tanwen » Wed Sep 02, 2015 12:21 pm

Me...sneeze fire??? No, wasn't me, honest - malicious rumour that was. They even added time on to my CS - would you Adam and Eve it???
You lose nothing when fighting for a cause ... In my mind the losers are those who don't have a cause they care about. - Muhammad Ali

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TheGuvnorsMoll
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Re: Great Uncle Manfred's Magic Academy

Postby TheGuvnorsMoll » Wed Sep 02, 2015 12:35 pm

Thank you for the gen on the phoenix, Nancy, but your bad what?
'The best Government is that which governs least, if at all' - Henry David Thoreau.

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KAGU143
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Re: Great Uncle Manfred's Magic Academy

Postby KAGU143 » Wed Sep 02, 2015 12:42 pm

My bad, first, because I sometimes use stupid grammar shortcuts, and, second, because I once called the Phoenix "he" and got my ears pinned back for doing so!
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Tanwen
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Re: Great Uncle Manfred's Magic Academy

Postby Tanwen » Wed Sep 02, 2015 12:45 pm

It's an Americanism - 'my bad' = 'my fault'

My son uses it and it drives me crazy :(
You lose nothing when fighting for a cause ... In my mind the losers are those who don't have a cause they care about. - Muhammad Ali

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KAGU143
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Re: Great Uncle Manfred's Magic Academy

Postby KAGU143 » Wed Sep 02, 2015 12:48 pm

Thank you for translating, Tan. :)
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Re: Great Uncle Manfred's Magic Academy

Postby Skycaptain » Wed Sep 02, 2015 1:58 pm

Tanwen, eat one of my chilli's then sneezing fire is the least of your troubles. I have used them to jump-start dragons that won't fire up on damp mornings on many occasions. It beats pretending that you're a Catholic and praying to St Ignitus any day

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Re: Great Uncle Manfred's Magic Academy

Postby PiF » Wed Sep 02, 2015 2:39 pm

Those chili's sound like things to avoid

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Tanwen
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Re: Great Uncle Manfred's Magic Academy

Postby Tanwen » Wed Sep 02, 2015 11:15 pm

Like the 'Komodo Dragon' PiF - even though Tesco is selling them, haven't seen any in our store.

I've only just ventured into sweet chilli sauce and made one step up from korma curry (which my son says isn't a curry at all cause it's in no way hot - not even warm)
You lose nothing when fighting for a cause ... In my mind the losers are those who don't have a cause they care about. - Muhammad Ali

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Re: Great Uncle Manfred's Magic Academy

Postby PiF » Thu Sep 03, 2015 2:28 am

Chili oil is the one to avoid..that fires up the old tummy very quick smart

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Tanwen
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Re: Great Uncle Manfred's Magic Academy

Postby Tanwen » Thu Sep 03, 2015 4:06 am

I used to get heartburn a LOT (more or less all the time) but hasn't bothered me much since my gall bladder went bye-bye...which has nothing to do with the topic so forget I said it :D
On the other hand, a dragon with heartburn is pretty funny... :lol: :lol: :lol:
You lose nothing when fighting for a cause ... In my mind the losers are those who don't have a cause they care about. - Muhammad Ali